1) All you lazy-ass pervs out there can start rejoicing - in 94 short days, hands-free masturbation can be yours!
"Rubbot.com is a unique project to design a revolutionary new adult sextoy for men. Our prime-mandates for this device are: compact, hands-free, cool-looking and . . . let's just say, "effective"."For those of you who are both pervy and daring, you might want to consider being a beta tester. And all of you should be sure to check out their "The 5 Worst Homemade Male Sex Toys of All Time" page, containing this delightful suggestion:
"Get a can of Spam, take the whole block out, and heat it in the microwave to warm it [...] cut a hole in the center to make it look like a vagina."All I can say is that things have reached a sad pass for you if you're sticking your junk into spiced canned ham (H/T to Fleshbot).
2) Speaking of pervs, the Travelodge chain of hotels in Britain is having a surge in naked male sleepwakers! I must book a room posthaste!
3) Muby lubove fubor Subysm knubows nubo bubounds, fubor hube hubas subent mube thubis, uband uboh, muby fubuckubing hubead, ubit hubas nubo prubofubanubituby fubiltubers! Pubenubis! Jubisubm! Grubandmuba! Snubausubagubes! Didn't watch ZOOM as a kid? Well, fubuck yubou.
4) The WTF roundup: FEMA's bullshit press conference, four-headed spiny anteater penis porn (H/T to Boing Boing), Organic Batter Blaster (H/T to BA), and size 4 is the new fat.
5) The geeklicious roundup: Natalie Portman guest edits Scholastic Math Magazine, structured gel changes color on demand (thank you, Bosom Buddy), top 10 strangest things in space (thank you, Nick), and Singing Science records, a.k.a. pretty much the most awesome thing evar (thank you, DJ Dri).
14 comments:
so seeing as I'm a size 12 now, does that make me ten times as fabulous as that stupid skinny bitch?
I prefer to masturbate the old fashioned way.
And by old fashioned, I mean while peering through a peephole in a woman's locker room at the community college.
Knitty Kitty -- why, yes!
Of course, you're ten times as fabulous no matter what size you are.
Those nebulas are fantastic! But the burger looks more like a vagina to me. I think space is big reproductive organ.
Those are HOT!
But they will never replace the pumpkin with the hole in the side.
Since I am turning 35 today and officially old by the standards of my childhood, I expect that my arms will soon fail. As such, I will become a beta tester for the rubbot so that I can continue to enjoy my penis until it too fails.
The Rubbot...that sounds disgusting...ahem, what was that website again? lol
And, BTW, what ever happened to the old standby?...a gym sock and a copy of the Sears Catalog?
Rubealluby, whubat's wubeirduber? Tubalkubing ubabubout rububbubing ubone ubout ubin ububbubi dububbubi, ubor fubuckubing hubam ubin uba cuban? Gubive mube uban hubour uband Ubi'll hubave uban ubanswuber.
My new favorite word: pubenubis.
Space objects! (*squirt*)
Those science songs rock, and I am SO using them.
Wait ... cheese causes subomnubambubulubation?
Knitty - Speaking mathematically, if we're going by pants size, then no, it makes you three times as fabulous. I, however, am ranking by intelligence, in which case you are 10^10 times as fabulous as that stupid skinny bitch.
Todd - Pervert. (Now which community college is that? I must go enroll...)
Übie - I vote you, Me, and Miss Knit go give that poor, delusional girl a talking-to. And, while we're at it, give her douchebag husband a good beat-down.
Kat - You're awesome.
Jamwall - I will never look at carving a jack-o-lantern the same way again.
Fanboy - Hooray! Happy Birthday, sweetie! I will be right over to give you a little blog lovin'.
Leblanc - Please tell me you're talking about a clean gym sock.
Sysm - Ubohmubygubod, bubabuby, yubou ubare subooooo pubervuby. Squubee!!!
Spinnerina - I so heart pubenubis. Also, if sleepwalking is caused by stress, alcohol, eating cheese or consuming too much caffeine, then it's a fucking miracle I'm not wandering the streets naked nightly.
I sort of want to fuck Jacoby Ellsbury now.
I sort of want to watch Nick fuck Jacoby Ellsbury now.
OK not sort of. I want to set up a Barcalounger and snack on cheesy popcorn while I watch.
microwaving something and putting it on your junk is a recipe for a hilarious hospital story.
Additionally, I think people should take masturbating with the sears catalog to a whole new level and just cut a hole into the catalog.
It is amazing the lengths some people go to.
With regards to the first comment by knitty kitty:
"so seeing as I'm a size 12 now, does that make me ten times as fabulous as that stupid skinny bitch?"
I assume you are refering to Trista Stutter in the article in part 4. She was size 4, so that would make you 3 times more beautiful lol.
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