friday bouillabaisse

1) I'm not one to tell people what they ought to be doing with their genitals, but as a professional cosmetologist, I do feel compelled to bring this to your attention. Christ, that makes me want to go get one of these. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't feel free to remove the fuzz from your peach if that's how you swing, but if you're going to be waxing, please be aware that any aesthetician worth his or her salt will conduct a full consultation with you before getting up close and personal with your chocha, including inquiries into pre-existing medical conditions. He or she will also inform you that is you have any adverse reactions, you should immediately contact a health care professional. Personally, I prefer shaving for the more, shall we say sensitive areas because I know how easily skin tears can occur and, um, ouch. And in the winter I just rock the full bush, old school, yo. But by all means, you should do as your own devil bids you. Just please use a little common sense, people. This is the holiest of holies we're talking about here.

2) Speaking of the nasty bits, I found this poll highly entertaining. Who knew how desirable Bill Gates' sperm was?! But, y'know, if your or your man's sac just isn't as full of little swimmers as it used to be and you don't have access to celebrity sperm, might I suggest another solution? And speaking of Bill Gates, while I so want to hate him, he just keeps doing shit that pleases me. Damn him.

3) So the big Live Earth concert event that my boyfriend (okay, he's not officially my boyfriend, but I swear to Xenu that he is so on the verge of promotion) helped put together is tomorrow, and it's a real shame that this news has ended up dominating the conversation leading up to it. That didn't, however, stop Gore from getting in his two cents about Scooter Libby. Awesome. Suck it, Bushie.

4) Also, this was one of the finest press conference moments ever. I am so eager to see what impact this shit has on the Republican presidential candidates. Not that it really matters, because I already know who's got my vote. If you don't find that persuasive, try this.

5) Finally, the ummm...no roundup: this, this, and this. (Bosom, please do yourself a favor and be sure to scroll down a bit on this one - I totally thought of you.) And the awww...yeah roundup: this, this, and this. (For the record, if you buy that for me, you will totally earn my eternal love and affection. Maybe even a Slippy Grippy.)